Men in Black [2] II (2002)
Action | Comedy | Sci-Fi

Tommy Lee Jones and Will Smith are back in black as the scum-fighting super-agents Kay and Jay - regulators of all things alien on planet earth. Their latest mission: to save the world from a total intergalactic disaster!

When a renegade Kylothian monster disguised as a lingerie model threatens the survival of the human race, the boys of the MIB get the call to step up and get busy. With their headquarters under siege and time running out, Agents Kay and Jay enlist the help of Frank the Pug and a posse of hard-living worms to help them kick some seriously sexy alien butt!

Storyline: For Agent J, it is another day at the office, monitoring, licensing and policing all alien activity on Earth. One day, J receives a report of an unauthorized landing of an alien spacecraft near New York. It is an old enemy of MIB, a Kylothian named Surleena who is searching for a powerful artifact called The Light of Zartha. J investigates and quickly realizes he is going to need help. Unfortunately, the other MIB agents do not work up to par like J can. So, J decides to bring back K. J must bring back K's memory as an MIB agent and try to stop Surleena, before she can succeed. Written by John Wiggins

Reviewer's Note: Reviewed by Martin Liebman, April 25, 2012 -- There's probably not a more conspiracy theory-friendly film franchise out there than Men in Black. Seriously, these things have everything but the proverbial black helicopters: there's aliens amongst us, government spooks, radically advanced technology, and all kinds of nefarious plots from within and without to conquer civilization, destroy the Earth, and so on and so forth. The only real difference is that these "men in black" are working to save the universe, while the conspiracy theorists would argue that their "real world" counterparts are all probably working for the elite Bilderberg and Rothschild sorts and not for the betterment and preservation of the general population. But then again if POOF! goes the Earth, then POOF! go the elites, right? True, unless they have...wait for it...A SECRET SPACESHIP READY TO SAVE THEM AND TRANSPORT THEM SAFELY TO NIBIRU! "Yo," the conspiracy theorists might also argue, "these Men in Black movies are just the elites toying with mankind, ya know? I mean what better way to fool everyone than to hide everything they do in plain sight by putting it out there in mass entertainment for all the sheeple to devour as fiction hook, line, and sinker!" Well, whether they're one big Illuminati joke or just innocent Hollywood fare, the Men in Black brand is a big hit with the sheeple, er, the moviegoing public. The first film was so big that it spawned the obligatory sequel, and it's the obligatory "not nearly as good as the first" sequel at that. Its story: same cast, more or less the same cadence, and a lot less fun.

The mind-scrubbed gent Kay (Tommy Lee Jones) is off doing his thing who-knows-where, making his former partner Agent Jay (Will Smith) the new veteran hotshot MIB operative. Little does Jay know that he's about to face his greatest challenge, a challenge coming in the form of...a lingerie model. But this is no ordinary cover girl. She's actually Serleena (Lara Flynn Boyle), an evil shapeshifting alien with one goal: to retrieve the Light of Zartha at all costs. The light was once brought to Earth by the Zarthans in an effort to hide it from Serleena, but the MIB agents in charge of that mission chose not to accept the responsibility, for the light has the power to destroy the entire planet. But apparently that was just a ruse. Serleena's come to understand that the light is indeed somewhere on Earth, and she's not leaving without it. The light is being held in a small New York Pizza joint. Serleena barges in and kills the owner, right in front of a frightened in-hiding employee (or "employe") named Laura (Rosario Dawson). Jay's on the case, but decides Laura's first-hand knowledge might be useful and chooses not to erase her memory of the incident. And as if that break in procedure wasn't bad enough, Jay and Laura show signs of a budding romance. But Laura's not the only help Jay's going to need. If he's to stop Serleena and save Earth, he's going to need the help of the only agent to have before worked with the Light of Zartha: Kay. As Jay rushes headfirst into danger and Kay plays catchup, the fate of the Earth hangs in the balance. In other words, it's just another day at the office for the Men in Black.

Even considering all the conspiracy theory/alien/lunatic fringe/big guns/scary aliens possibilities that must be out there in someone's mind, apparently this was the best the filmmakers could do to follow up a pretty novel and fine fan favorite in Men in Black. The sequel plays with little rhythm and even less purpose. It merely regurgitates people and places and things and ideas from the first film, including a new villain and a few new insignificant ideas into the already-established world. That's not necessarily a bad thing, keeping things pretty even and familiar, but the film doesn't really do all that much with its new characters and new toys. Worse, it has a smaller feel than the first film, a real mistake for an Action/Sci-Fi/Comedy follow-up. And with that smaller feel doesn't come a more personal feel. Men in Black II sort of just goes through the motions, happy to simply shoot bad guys and plop talking dogs, special effects, and prosthetic aliens onto the screen, and go way overboard with the comic relief. In fact, it might be fair to call Men in Black II a "Comic Relief" movie with bits and pieces of plot, action, and Science Fiction tossed in to alleviate the constant flat-falling humor. To the film's credit, however, the special effects generally look great, even if they're often either superfluous or distracting from what little semblance of a plot there may be. Rick Baker goes all-in and creates some of the best-looking visual effects of his storied career. The visuals are polished and perfected, from the smallest little touches to the biggest monsters and human add-ons. Yet that's really all the movie is. If it's not one big comic relief session, it's one big playground for the effects artists to go all-out and do their thing. Oh, and somewhere in there Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones must again save the world and try to rekindle their chemistry from the first movie.

Somehow Men in Black II even fails to really milk its thrift store Sci-Fi plot. There's the opportunity for real appeal here for a classic dime novel or comic book tale come to brilliant 21st century life. The whacky outer space-y names, the bigger than life consequences, the crazy aliens, the over-the-top-action, it's altogether the definition of absurd, yet the movie never brings it all together into one great experience. It's all just stuff that's piled up on the screen with only the loosest plot threads running through it as a constant. The movie throws so many characters, places, special effects, and random alien characters into the heap that none of it sticks or plays with any real sense of purpose, outside of the main storyline. What should have been a fun hodgepodge plays like the filmmakers just wanted to see what they could get away with putting in the finished product. At least the movie takes place in New York, where apparently nobody bats an eyelash when monsters eat the subway car or government spooks and aliens burst into a house and open a secret compartment to retrieve a few guns from a hidden stash. And that's all before they've been lobotomized MIB style. At least the cast seems to have fun with it, or at least they seem to be trying to have fun with it, as in the old "better to laugh with it than to cry about it." Will Smith infuses the movie with some rhythm and attitude as only he can, but Jones largely falls flat in this one. Rip Torn milks his part for all its worth, and the good-looking female leads, well, they look good, Dawson in particular, while Lara Flynn Boyle never injects her villainess with much attitude, anger, or a sense that she really means business. But when the best the movie can scrounge together is Rosario Dawson playing Twister with aliens, Smith and Jones being flushed down a massive toilet, and an influx of in-film promos for Sprint and Burger King, then the whole thing really has no choice but to get all twisted around as it circles the drain while calling for help after chowing down on a bunch of unsatisfying empty calories.

[CSW] -1.6- I could have skipped this one. No real substance or plot.

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